French people hates happiness

It's true. If you smile at a stranger here, that automatically a whore. I've been repeatedly slapped because the person I smiled at was like old people, or little kids. It's a sickening state of living.
On another note, last night, I ate one of the specialty plates of Provence called, Quenolt (yea, it does look like Quizno). It's basically a giant sausage stuffed with grind pork meat, but here's the kick: it's completely black and ironically & phalically shaped. So basically last night, my host mom fed me a black dildo. It was delicious.
The city plan of Aix is extremely confusing (or as Historical Urbanism in my Architecture class), as evident by the increasing frequency of my complete lost-ness. I started my volunteer work yesteday as well. I tutored immigrant French kids in English; Irony seems to follow me everywhere (context: I was in ESL 8 years ago and now I'm teaching English). It's actually very pedagogic for me because I learned about the proposition infinitives (I had no idea that even existed) along with the kids.
Furthermore, I am joining an Aikido club here in France; it's really funny hearing Japanese spoken with a French accent. Apparently, French people are innately repressing their anger because Aikido here is definitely NOT non-conflictual. It's actually more violent than a lot of other martial arts that I practiced. The super old ladies have no problem kicking you when you just fall down btw. On a side note of kicking old ladies, aged citizens of France (literally in their 60's, 70's and even 80's) will wear high heels and will strut that shit like no tomorrow.

Hope you all are doing well as I am attempting to penetrate the core of French society.